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if i had to rank the months of my life from worst to best. the first would be april 2020. the next would be may 2026. what an awful fucking month it has been for me. i genuinely feel like i cannot catch a break anymore. let me recap for you this terrible month. first, riley broke up with me. there are no words to describe the utter heartbreak and almost grief i feel. then, got diagnosed with endometriosis. third, zora moved out of chicago (love u and miss u baddie please come home). lastly, our landlord is pricing tess and i out of the apartment in our lease renewal. and on top of that i still hate my job and am still taking classes. i haven’t even started finals yet. i have actually never felt more alone and awful in my life (except april 2020 and maybe most of middle school). its like gonna be okay though or something like everything happens for a reason or whatever the fuck that means. also if you want to move to chicago text me. i got a room for you.
i did have some joy though.
i got a haircut and my stylist posted a reel of it on instagram. love them so much it got me through the first layer of funk and sadness.
scout sent a candle and candle warmer. i acknowlege and appreciate that i have great friends to get me through this terrible life im living.
i did infact get to zoramaxx and hung out with her for like 5 days straight before she moved away forever (COME HOME PLEEEASE). we also celebrated ye’amlaks birthday and i went to her b-day picnic which was so lovely and awesome.
i went to the beach twice bc its finally warm out. that’s tess in the water though not me. it was still too cold.
i contacted this girl who used to live at our apartment because she had a pretty important looking package sent to us. turns out she was one of tess’s hinge matches. what a small fucking world. she brought us delicious pastries in return.
i hosted a game night again to remind myself of the importance of friendship in these trying times. i felt so fulfilled after.
last but certainly not least. i went to a indie game developer mixer at a barcade and chatted with new people!!! so scary but i did it. i ended up chatting with a guy who works at jackbox which is so fun. i didn’t even do it for networking i just wanted to meet people who make cool stuff and i did. #yay.
now listening:
lowkey i have been streaming this playlist 24/7. i call it my manufactured happy playlist. only happy songs. boygenuis can wait.
now watching:
ultimate cope. love u modern family thanks for being there for me always.
now reading:
i tried to read no longer human but it was kinda bumming me out so i didn’t finish it. i’ll get back to it later. i started harriet tubman:live in concert which is less of a bummer and very interesting. but tbh i haven’t had much motivation to read this month.
now playing:
thank you eleanor for putting me on. it is so fun. i have 8 cats so far and i buy them all furniture and theyre so fucking cute.