whats new
it got worse before it got better. this month was still pretty bad. on top of everything that happened last month, more bad things kept happening and the only reason i haven’t given up yet is because that is simply not an option for me. my anxiety has gotten pretty bad, to a point where i have no appetite and wake up nauseous. i deserve a grape gatorade sponsorship as its the only thing getting me through. i also might be getting depressed but i think that is a result of everything bad happening to me all at once and it will go away when things get better. i also have started therapy. my teeth are not doing well either. i had to take out my labret piercing bc my gums are bleeding a lot. the dentist is making me wait until my insurance approves a deep cleaning. tess wont be renewing our lease either and i am gonna miss them so fucking much. oh AND my union is kind of preparing for a strike :) without pay :) so i will be unemployed for a while probably. sincerely though, thank you guys for reaching out and being there for me, i really don’t think i would’ve gotten through this month without you all. i have been feeling so incredibly alone but i know that isnt true and i have yall. cheers.
i made another game for my art games class. you can play it here.
my parents were in town because it was my dad’s birthday this month and he wanted to go to pokemon go fest in grant park. we also saw the pokemon fossil exhibit at the field which was really neat. also my mom gave me her old digicam #yay
tess got bit by our neighbors dog while i was putting on my pajamas and everyone went to the hospital without me #fomo. but tess is fine also i got to meet our neighbors and ask for the dogs vaccination record.
scout was in town! again! yay scout! we went to andersonville for midsommarfest and saw stop!that!train! in theaters and went to da beach. oh and knicks in five fuck the spurs.
ok huge shoutout to eva mcnally for this one. everyone needs a friend that simply will not let you bail on plans. i dragged my ass out of the house for underscores b2b umru aftershow (knowing nothing about underscores except that my ex was at her show) and genuinely had the best night of my life. it was so gross and sweaty and wet and i kept bumping my head on a furry’s snout but i don’t care.
i dont have any pictures from pride weekend but i went to dyke march and then to babes sports bar and got a bit silly. i slept through the parade and went to a queer art market at coles bar with camille (hi camille) and then logans art festival. didn’t do much gay shit but im always gay so who cares. i am going on a date tn tho so ending pride month with a bang.
tbh i spent a lot of my time crying this month. i didn’t have much to distract myself with. apologies to anyone i cancelled plans with or bailed on. shoutout to rebecca for answering the phone at 3am and to everyone else i have cried to or complained to.
now listening:
underscores. thats it. ive been exclusively listening to underscores since the aftershow. she is so talented her music is lifechanging.
now watching:
yeah its still modern family. sorry. i need my comfort content. also watched jennifers body for the first time and it was phenomenal i love sapphic tension.
now reading:
i started martyr! and haven’t finished it because im trying to savor the experience. it is a fantastic read so far. its slowly convincing me to stop being delusional and not everything has a meaning but im only 70 pages in.
now playing:
i started playing spiritfarer but i haven’t gotten very far. i honestly haven’t been playing much either. my phone screen time is off the charts this month its kind of embarrassing i need to lock in.